Trust In The Process…

Encouragements are still on my mind this week, so I thoughts I’d share my own experiences from this years New Wine Leadership Conference in March. Late I know, but if you fancy reading another perspective, check out Jeorgina’s from our Habits series during Lent.

It’s so interesting at NWLC 22 I had such profound emotions and it really felt like God was at work in me as I continued on my journey with Him.

But this year wasn’t the same. I was just as excited as last year, more so in fact as I knew what to expect. Yet my mind was full of distractions; work that needed to be done, both church and in my other part time role, my daughter having melt downs as she didn’t understand why I wasn’t at home. So though the talks were great and I got so much out of them, there was no profound emotion. The worship was great but this year no great big fat tears rolling down my face.

And I began to think it wasn’t working. That He wasn’t working in me. Was there no point in my being at the conference this year?

But then Jill Duff spoke about not needing big shows. And I began to think well actually of course He’s working just not in the way I expected. Rather than undoing some of my personal beliefs on what church is and means, He was giving me thought provoking questions, I guess to try and unravel and share through our blogs.

Then John McGinley spoke about how we need to focus on the church as it was in the early years: disciples making disciples. And it reinforced the work we’re doing here at Church At Barking Riverside. It felt that thought it’s been a hard road, it’s definitely the right path to be on, and that we have to keep going in that direction. Tope also reinforced it by showing that we need to focus more on the Glory of God.

And though I found all these lessons valuable and encouraging, I still felt like something was missing because I hadn’t had my personal message as yet. I was still distracted.

So I prayed intentionally on the 2nd night to be less distracted on the last morning. To make space to hear what He had for me.

And then it came.

Confidence. The thing I’ve struggled most with personally. Confidence in myself as a child of God, perfectly imperfect but perfectly loved. Confidence in what I think He’s calling me to do. Because how am I meant to and where do I start? Do I have the tools and the capacity? And what if I fail?

But how can you fail, when it’s not you and your work. It’s His. It’s His vision and work that He’s doing through you. You’re just the vessel He has chosen to do it with. He will provide. He will equip. He will bring the right people to support.

During that last talk, I did something that a year ago, or even 2 days before I would never have done. I went down to the front for prayer. And again, nothing profound happened. But I stood comfortably in that moment of a stranger laying their hands on me asking for more of Him. Then when it was done, a few tears and lots of hugs with Jeorgina. And I realised He was working, just not as I had expected. Very low key in comparison to last year. But a large message; step confidently into that which I have called you. Dot not worry about how it will be done. Just trust in the fact that I will do it through you.

So I encourage you. Despite those everyday distractions, pray intentionally for that space to let Him in to speak to you. And then act. Act as He has called you to and trust in Him to see it through.


Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: